Why more dads fighting for custody could change America…For the better
Every day in America a father is denied access to their children by an unwilling and uncooperative parent.
We don’t say this to be mean, but it’s a harsh reality in the America in which we live in today.
When it comes to child custody disputes, a lot of parents don’t play fair.
Custody battles can get really, really ugly and sadly children often get caught in the middle. But, some dads are fighting for custody and winning.
It’s one thing to go through a divorce and not want to ever see your ex because things didn’t work out. However, when you have children together it’s another to try and co-parent with your ex and raise a child together.Simply because your marriage didn’t survive. Your relationship with your children needs to.
Unfortunately, some parents take out their harsh feelings on the other parent by limiting contact with them, not realizing this causes harm to the child. This is a serious problem which affects not only the other parent but most importantly, the child.
Thankfully, More than 20 states are pushing for shared parenting this year alone. States such as Kentucky followed suit this year in 2019 making shared custody automatically temporary during a divorce.
Florida and Virginia, passed laws last year supporting shared custody, and they aren’t the only ones.
More dads are fighting for custody
More dads are fighting for custody and rightfully so.
How would you feel if you only got to see your child every other weekend? 4 days out of a month is not much time. We’re sure you’ve heard the old adage “Kids, they sure do grow up fast!”
Imagine how fast that truly is when you only get to see them 4 days out of a month or less.
Then, if you have a parent who attempts to hinder that time, you can see how this could frustrate a parent.
Typically, to the point of either walking away or wanting to fight for custody so they can spend time with their child(ren).
Dads are important
Dads are important. More than ever, dads want to be involved with their children and play a vital role in raising them.
Dads ( just like moms) are someone a child looks up to and role model.
No, we’re not perfect but neither or moms. The Chicago Tribune just recently published an article on the topic as well.
“The way the system is set up now, two parents enter the courtroom. When they leave, one is a parent and the other is a visitor,” said Christian Paasch, 37, chair of the National Parents Organization of Virginia, a fathers rights group.
A presumption of shared parenting would replace the “winner takes all” approach currently embedded in the law, he said, and replace it with a new message: “You will both still be parents, and you both matter to your children.”
Some women advocate groups have been proponents against it citing it protects abusers.
Well, we say when it comes to equality, women have just as much potential to abuse children as men do.
We are talking about equality right?
So, that should mean we make no presumptions about someone based on gender correct?
I mean that is the whole premise on gender equality. To treat everyone with the same amount of respect, regardless of gender or race.
Women state they should earn as much as men in the workplace and treated fairly.
Dads fighting for custody should be no different.
Dads and fathers should be treated fairly and equally in the child’s life.
That’s how it works. Or should I say that ‘s how it should work?
Obviously, if there is clear and convincing evidence child abuse has occurred then that’s a totally different story and should be handled and dealt with accordingly.
If that’s not the case. Children deserve equal time with both parents.
Fatherless Statistics- Why Dads matter
According to the U.S. Census Bureau.
There are an estimated 18,538,840 children living in a home with no husband or father figure.
Compared to 5,683,663 children living without the wife or mother of the child.
Now, of course, all these statistics are not contributed to parental alienation.
However, if we conducted a survey among parents who have been excluded from their family or children’s lives because of it. I ‘m sure the statistics would be very eyeopening.
Extensive social-science research shows that children benefit from having an involved father.
Children who grow up with active fathers tend to have higher self-esteem and better academic records.
Children that grow up without a father are:
5 TIMES more likely to commit suicide
32 TIMES more likely to run away
20 TIMES more likely to have behavioral disorders
14 TIMES more likely to commit rape
9 TIMES more likely to drop out of school
10 TIMES more likely to abuse chemical substances
9 TIMES more likely to end up in a state-operated institution
20 TIMES more likely to end up in prison
How this could change America
With new custody laws going into effect and fathers being in and playing a more active role in their child’s life.
With Dads fighting for custody, we could see a decrease in crime rates, suicide rates, homeless rates, behavior disorders, and juvenile detention numbers just for starters.
Fathers are the backbone of the family household structure.
Just as mothers have an innate motherly instinct for their children.
Fathers also have inate fatherly instincts for their children.
Consider your own family history.
Did your dad or grandfather have or play a role in your life?
Fathers are more than just “breadwinners” and a paycheck.
Children need their father’s emotional support just as equally as they do their monetary support.
When looking back upon the foundation of this country going back to our nation’s founding fathers up until the ’70s.
Father’s played a vital role in the entire family structure.
It’s the order in which God created the family unit.
The husband, wife, and then children.
A Father’s role is to be a protector, provider, and leader in the family.
When you take that away, you’re taking away from the child’s physical, emotional, and spiritual development.
What can you do?
The Americans for Equal shared parenting is a national organization who is actively advocating for every state to pass shared parenting laws.
They are currently having their annual “Partners in Progress” event in Washington D.C. this weekend June 28 through June 29th with some of the nations top speakers, leading experts, and advisors on parenting, including state representatives.
Dr. Warren Farrell, Ph.D., Author of The Boy Crisis
Melissa Isaak, Isaak Family LawHon.
Bob McEwen, Executive Director of the Council for National Policy
Dr. Torri J. Evans-Barton, The Fatherless Foundation Generation
Dorcy Pruter, Conscious Co-Parenting Institute
Ed Martin, Catholic Adviser to the President of the US
are just a few.
The Americans For Equal Shared Parenting (AFESP) group was started by Mark Ludwig out of the need to be the best parent he could be to his son, Levi.
After going through his own experience and learning of other parents that had been relegated to weekend visitors.
He decided to use his background in politics to effect change in the current Family Court system.
For more information about their organization and his story.
Support Dad’s fighting for custody
If you know someone who is going through a custody battle or divorce.
Give them your support and encouragement.
We assure you, Dads fighting for custody need it.
Our children deserve better.
Let’s solve this problem, collectively and together.
For our children…for our nation.
Dads fighting for custody isn’t all about dads.
It’s about our children.